Wednesday

Habit Change - Six Steps To Success

by Beverly Smallwood, PhD.
As every New Year approaches, many of us are doing the usual…thinking, “This year will be different. I’m going to change…(fill in the blanks)…my work habits, my attitudes. I’ll lose those pounds; I’ll make that difficult choice that’s long overdue.” We re-make these resolutions throughout the year.

But will really follow through until the goals are accomplished? Or will this new “determination” be like the others…lots of good intentions, plenty of wishes, but basically, life goes on as usual?

Research on personal change (Prochaska, Norcross, and Diclemente; “Changing for Good”) has demonstrated that successful change comes in six well-defined stages. Perhaps the failure to recognize these stages has been responsible for your past frustrations and failures in following through on self improvements.

You see, each of these stages has a series of tasks that must be completed before you can progress to the next. You set yourself up for failure when you either try to accomplish changes you aren’t ready for or when you stay so long on tasks you’ve mastered (such as understanding your problem) that you become stuck indefinitely.

Think about your past experiences as you read what happens in these six stages.

STAGE 1: PRECONTEMPLATION When you’re at this stage, you aren’t even admitting you have a problem. We’ve all seen unhealthy denial in others. We often have trouble seeing it in ourselves.

Writer G.K. Chesterton said, “It isn’t that they can’t see the solution. It’s that they can’t see the problem.”

Precontemplators don’t want to change themselves. They think others are to blame for their difficulties. Likely, others are experiencing the precontemplator’s problem and may be applying pressure for him or her to change. The responses…denial and resistance.

Are you in this stage? Chances are, you are with at least one of the destructive and self-defeating behaviors you need to change.

STAGE 2: CONTEMPLATION When you move to the Contemplation stage, you acknowledge you have a problem, and you want to get unstuck. You begin to think seriously about solving your problem. You try to understand its causes, and you begin to investigate your options. At this point you have indefinite plans to take action within the next few months.

However, you can stay stuck in this stage for months or years. (Is this where you are now?) You know you need to change, and you intend to…someday…just as soon as…after…when the rush is over (when would that be?). You know your desire and your destination, but you’re not quite ready to go.

Fear of failure can keep you searching for an easier, more dramatic, or more complete solution to your problem. The irony is, failure is guaranteed if you don’t move on to the next stage.

STAGE 3: PREPARATION “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”

You greatly reduce your success probability if you suddenly wake up one morning, say “This is the day,” and dive headfirst into a change without realistically and specifically planning how you will make the change happen.

At Stage 3, you develop a detailed plan of action and you may announce your intentions publicly. Your awareness is high, and you may have already begun small behavioral changes. Before moving ahead, however, you need to know exactly how you will keep your awareness and commitment high throughout the struggles of the next stages.

STAGE 4: ACTION This stage is the one that requires the most commitment and energy. It’s where you actually DO IT! You receive the most recognition and support during this stage, because others can see that you’re working at it. You follow the plan you’ve made in Stage 3, make revisions as necessary, and “keep on keeping on” even when it’s inconvenient or difficult.

Here’s a caution: Action doesn’t necessarily mean that lasting change has been made. It’s an essential part of the process, but the failure to do what’s necessary in the next stage, Maintenance, can sabotage the progress you’ve made so far.

STAGE 5: MAINTENANCE The maintenance stage is a long, ongoing process. From my experience, it’s the most difficult. (How many times have I dieted, for example, only to gain the weight back?)

The Action stage must be followed by constant vigilance and a systematic plan for dealing with those temptations that can draw you back into the old, destructive pattern. It’s hard work to consolidate the gains you’ve made during the first four stages and to prevent relapse.

Celebrate achieving your goals, but don’t relax and tell yourself, “Whew! I’m glad that’s over!” Develop a menu of mental and behavioral coping strategies that will take you through the times when your feet begin to slip. (More on that in the next article.)

STAGE 6: TERMINATION There is lively debate about whether this stage is possible when the behavior you’ve changed is an addictive habit. The ideal would be that you no longer feel tempted, and the habit is absolutely not a problem for you. Some say, however, that you must always maintain a life of vigilance.

I tend to agree. Some can progress to the point that they are not constantly tempted, nor do they think about it every day. However, I believe that once you’ve had a deeply ingrained habit or addiction, you are always more vulnerable than if you’d never had it. Keep a level of awareness, especially in times of stress. Studies show that in times of stress or conflict, people are most likely to slip.

NOT A LINEAR PROGRESSION

Wouldn’t it be nice if we smoothly progressed from one stage to the next? It’s possible, but not probable. Most people have episodes of backsliding into Contemplation or even Precontemplation before trying again. In fact, studies show that New Year’s resolutions are made, on average, five times before the changer moves all the way to Maintenance! (That’s average. You don’t have to do it that many times if you know how to move more effectively through these six stages.)

Don’t give up! If you have a setback, don’t stay there. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again…this time with a revised and better plan.

Dr. Bev Smallwood is a psychologist who has worked with organizations across the globe for over 20 years. Her high-energy, high-content, high-involvement Magnetic Workplaces (r) programs provide dozens of practical strategies and skills that can be put to work immediately to:

1. build strong leaders who influence and develop others through serving;

2. energize, motivate, and retain team members;

3. successfully accomplish important organizational transitions; and

4. impress customers and build their loyalty.

Review a complete list of her programs available for your convention or corporate meeting at the website, www.MagneticWorkplaces.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Beverly_Smallwood,_PhD.

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Creating A Life You Love

by Robin Harris
Imagine that right now, right here, today… there is within your grasp not one but several opportunities to redesign specific aspects of your life so that the sum total is a life you absolutely love. Then imagine that the only thing standing between you and your opportunities is a closed mind, fear, habits, concern, worry, drama, or perhaps mental, physical, and emotional clutter. Do you know what a default is? It’s what you get when you don’t choose to get something else and for most of us a default life is average and mediocre with sprinkles of joy in between. A default life is living for the weekend. A default like is hanging on ‘til retirement. A default life is waiting for the kids to grow up, move out, and finish college. A default life is waiting, and waiting, and waiting for things to get better someday…one day.

Most people don’t accidentally have a great life, a great job, a great marriage, a great body, or great children. I don’t know about you but I am not touched, moved, or inspired by mediocrity. I don’t aspire to live an average life, with an average job, and celebrate twenty-something anniversaries in an average marriage. My spirit longs for relationships and experiences that cause me to love deeply, grow profoundly, and see the magnificence in all of life. I can’t have that kind of life if I am settling for the default. My name is Robin Harris and I am a coach, an author, a certified Highlands Natural Abilities Counsultant, and I am the CEO of DesignerLife, a transformational business dedicated to helping individuals live by design; not by default. And today I just want to talk to you about designing a life you absolutely love. I call it the DesignerLife.

What’s a DesignerLife? Think of a piece of art that is not only beautiful but extremely functional. Just like a beautiful warm and cozy home provides sanctuary and focus for a family, a DesignerLife provides sanctuary and focus for the soul. Just like each room in that house has its own motif and purpose, each area of the DesignerLife has its own motif and purpose. Just like all of the rooms together, even the hallways and pantry make up the house, all of the areas of our lives make up the DesignerLife. A DesignerLife has been lovingly designed and architected to honor your best and your highest good and it includes spiritual hallways and pantries, too. Mmm, it sounds wonderful, doesn’t it?

I want you to consider a show home that has never been lived in. Everything is just so beautifully pristine and sterile. That’s because it’s for show but when the family moves in they bring their energy, their style, their nuances, their touch and the house becomes a home. It’s not perfect…but it is. It’s not immaculate buts it’s naturally inviting. The DesignerLife is a life you design that is natural, expanding, and very, very inviting not only to you but to other sojourners, also. We have so long been looking to the system, the companies we work for, the businesses we have built, the country we live in to sustain our way of life. Today is a new day, and the comfort of what we knew has passed away, it’s time to excavate, renovate, and develop our most precious resources: our soul’s dreams, our natural gifts, and our talents. It’s time for us to evolve to the next level and some sojourners are going to go kicking and screaming, and some won’t go at all. You probably thought the creation was completed millions of years ago, oh no. Human’s are still in process and every so often life says “hold on, wait a minute, it’s time to shift and leap baby”. You can plod along for only so long before life demands that you run fast or get eaten. The new paradigm is not for survivors, it’s for thrivers; people who are ready to unleash their potential into the world.

You see, the magnificent being that you are is not your doing. You didn’t design it, you didn’t create it, so there no reason to be arrogant about it. It’s a gift. Don’t just say thank you. Gratitude is only the beginning, there’s also a measure of responsibility and accountability that fall on the shoulders of the gifted. And we all are gifted. It is our responsibility to nurture our magnificence, to develop it, and express it profoundly in the world that we live in. Your magnificence is not only going to give you a life you love, it’s going to touch, move and inspire others. Divine intention will have your be great in ways you cannot even imagine. Divine intention will have your biggest mistakes sow seeds of wisdom and contribution to other. Divine intention will have you become the student and the teacher in life’s next evolution. The next evolution will have human beings manifest the Creator’s abundant, loving, creative nature.

What would it look like to have a life you absolutely love? When you really think about it, I mean see it with your minds eye, in living Technicolor, it should be so awesome it sends chills up your spine. I’m not talking about a superficial life where people are pretending to be happy, pretending that the marriage is working, pretending that the kids aren’t driving them crazy, pretending that life is in order when chaos is actually the king. I’m not talking about having more, more, more while feeling less, less, less. I’m talking about a life where your soul is satisfied. This is a life where you have peace of mind, finances in order, and a healthy mind, body, and spirit. This is a life with relationships that inspire and stimulate you, intimacy that heals and thrills you, and family and community for mutual love and support. This is a life complete with meaningful and fulfilling work that uses your gifts and talents and honors your uniqueness. This is a life where there is adequate time for self-nourishment, self-investment, fun and relaxation. And… this is a life where you receive an abundance of joy by contributing to the well being of others who are on the planet with you now, as well as those who will be coming in the future.

I can’t tell you the details of your DesignerLife. I can’t tell you how living a life you absolutely love will show up for you. I only know that the process of designing that kind of life will rock your world. I know somebody out there is saying, pfff you must be dreaming… and my response is “yes, and your point is…”

You see if it were left up to the practical people, the realists of the world, we’d still be huddled in a cold cave without a fire to warm us. I’m not just a dreamer, oh no: I’m a possibility chick with a plan. You see a designer life is not just about dreaming about it, thinking about it, longing for it, hoping for it, praying for it. A DesignerLife is about intention; the kind of intention that produces action, the kind of action that produces results.

The road less traveled is full of uncertainty, but the other road, the popular one can only take you where you’ve already been. Having an extraordinary life, a life you absolutely love is gonna seem like way too much work to the average person. It’s not going to appeal to the person courting mediocrity. It’s not going to excite the person who is content with waiting for some day, one day. It doesn’t call to the practical or the realist. So if you fall into one of these categories, cover your ears cause this message isn’t for you. I’m talking to the people who caught a glimpse of possibility for their own life, for the sojourners who are ready to unleash their potential out in the real world, and for the people who can’t stand the thought of settling for the default life.

The message I want to bring to you is simple. Your most challenging obstacle is not the present or past circumstances of your life, the things you did or didn’t do, it’s not your age, your gender, your race, it’s not the naysayers or critics or the practical realist who are convinced your dreams and aspirations are a waste of time, oh these are all challenges to be dealt with on their own terms but by far the biggest challenge you will face is your own self doubt, lack of commitment, and fear. Getting over yourself is the single most forwarding action you can take to move toward your own magnificence. I want to ask you for a huge favor and here it is…Get over yourself and just be magnificent.

Robin Harris is a DesignerLife Coach who work with client's who are ready to live by design; not by default. Contact Robin via web site www.designerlifecoaching.com or by email at robin@designerlifecoaching.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Robin_Harris

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Play A Bigger Role In Life

by Hifzur Rehman
Did you ever think that you are not playing the role which you should play in your life?

Don’t you think that you are born to play a leading role, a much bigger role in the real drama of your life? What is holding you back then? Your own short sightedness!

In order to play a bigger role in life you need to visualize a bigger picture of yourself. Once you have that picture before you, it will be much easier for you to paint that picture into reality.

Every morning, I look in the mirror and say “I have to play a bigger role in life”. These simple words make my day, a wonderful day, every day, because my firm determination that I have to play a bigger role in life, keeps my mind in supreme working condition, fully prepared for playing a bigger, bigger, and much bigger role in life. No surprise, my every day is getting better than yesterdays.

Every night, before going to bed, I visualize that tomorrow is going to be better than today. And it happens! Yes, it happens!!

While your body muscles need some kind of daily physical exercise, your brain tissues also need some dose of daily inspirational exercise. It is, therefore, important to keep yourself motivated all the time.

You need to clearly define, preferably in writing, every single detail of your big dreams and ambitious goals. You must try to bring out a bigger YOU out of your own person so that you are able to reach those big goals. Never think of living an ordinary person’s life! It’s a sin! It’s not your way of life. Let me repeat that you are born to play a leading role, a much bigger role in the real drama of your life.

Your confidence in yourself to reach your goals with strong determination to set new records of excellence, are your biggest assets. You are not far from playing a (much) bigger role in life!

Hifzur Rehman is the author of popular articles and editor of his website: http://www.selfimprovement.ch. This website provides free tools, information and articles on personal growth, education, health & fitness, beauty & skin care, money, travel & leisure and information technology.
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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Hifzur_Rehman

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